I wonder why it is

they never invite me on holidays anymore.
It can't be something as innocuous as "we forgot"
or what they've said every other time "we didn't think you'd want to go"
because I said that once. One time, because I didn't want to be away from him. We broke up, I'm fine. What's their excuse now?
Maybe I'm too unstable, or because of my behaviour. I'm a liability.
Maybe it's because of off-hand comments, or if I'm just a bit too bitchy for his liking. Maybe it's just who I am.
Why they leave me home every year (or twice a year sometimes,) alone, I may never know. He can do that whole "you're just as much a part of the family as everyone else, and we love you unconditionally" but that's bullshit. I am not a part of that family.
And there are conditions.